Questhaven Enlightenment
Intensive Comments
"YES!" says Miss Universe
Dear Jack,
This is what I became conscious of during the Questhaven enlightenment
intensive. This is what I experienced directly: The essential
nature of the universe is positive (YES!), is eternally expanding, is without
limits, has no name, has no form, includes all opposites, includes both
yes and no, male and female, right and wrong. This is my Self, what I am.
My separate self is an illusion included within the All. I am a wide
channel, an upward flowing fountain of positive energy, and my relative
self rides on this energy, resides in this energy, rests supported by this
energy. I am contained in all beings and all beings are contained
in me, and there is no containment. There is no separation.
Every tiny portion of the universe is an entire universe so that in my
physical body alone exist an infinite number of universes within universes
within universes. My task as a human being is to acknowledge this truth
as my Self, to allow this positive energy to flow freely through me unobstructed
by fear and attachment, to embody and live this truth of what I am.
I am not the doer.
Love,
Nancy aka Miss Universe
Carl sent me an e.e.cummings poem re the YES and
the universes within universes I experienced:
love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places
yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skillfully curled)
all worlds
Divine Goddess
During this last Intensive I became conscious of embodying
the divine energy of the Goddess. With each wave of this divine energy
I was aware of loving and accepting all of life. I was aware of being
fed by others beingness and feeding others with the presence of the Divine
Energy of total love and acceptance. In previous Enlightenment
Intensives I experienced being loved by the Divine. At this Retreat I became
the Divine Goddess.
Kate Feeley
I Am Feeling Alive
When I close my eyes and feel what is alive in me now - 4
days after the retreat has ended -- I picture, feel, experience the full-bodied
presence of many of those I sat across from and what lighted up in me while
sitting with them. I sensed how the Christ Being is my Friend and Teacher
-- how if I turn my attention toward prayer, then Christ is always there
-- always right here. I got that it is OK to acknowledge that Christ is
a companion to me and that His Light and Life is my light and life. As
I come to know this more and more deeply, something in me relaxes and a
smile naturally arises. You see I am never alone and I can no longer pretend
that I am or that my happiness and beauty is independent of divine friendship.
I got too, and this is quite amazing given the first part,
that sexual energy is life energy -- that it is OK to feel sexually alive
without closing down. I saw how all of my life I have been subtly or not
so subtly closed down around sexual energy -- sexual desire left me gasping
and grasping, anxious. Now I am opening to allow sexual energy to flow
through me without closing down or making myself wrong. (The closing down
response has dramatically diminished as I relax and open to the flow of
energy.) I am open to the Goddess and the delicious play of energy with
her. The knot in my solar plexus is beginning to dissolve and I can see
how healing with my hands is connected with the flow of sexual energy and
the release of this knot.
This was allowed to happen because of the interconnectedness
of all of us on the intensive -- because others were able to freely communicate
about sexual energy, I allowed myself to feel and communicate -- and in
so doing the deeper blocks and resistences began to soften. I am feeling
alive and look forward to see how all this will evolve in the coming months.
Joseph Rubano
Acceptance
On the Questhaven EI, at one point there arose in me a profound
process of transforming acceptance. I could not easily explain this to
you, dear reader, except in dialogue. In a well known prayer there is the
phrase "accept the things that I cannot change" but the acceptance I speak
of is one that brings change. It seems to me that this sort of acceptance
does occur with us all the time, largely unrecognized. And now it is, to
a certain extent, something I can consciously invoke. A facet of openness.
During the EI, processes with respect to energy and consciousness
in the "hara", which I might have attended to if I were more diligent at
zazen, began to occur spontaneously.
Tales are told of how break-through experiences have come on
the last dyad. Here's a twist on that, not an experience of enlightenment,
but coming into a state of extremely focused intention. This was brought
about partly due to a particular monitor's impassioned
urging to keep at it to the very end and not slack off. That intention
is with me to this day. Bring on your next EI!
Carl Wilson
Karma
During much of the 3 day EI, I became very conscious of the
effect of karma in my life. By that I mean, I was repeatedly experiencing
being the effect of my early life experiences and having that effect stimulated
by my reactions to others in the EI group. I became very aware of how much
my internal sense of safety and well-being was affected by the expression
of others' feelings, ideas, energy. I felt fear, insecurity, and contraction
much of the time and was struck by how compelling my old character structures
are. I carry them in my body and mind and can be very attached to them
without knowing how to be free of them. I did find that the breakthrough
of emotion that came at times in sharing the pain I was holding helped
to free me so I could be more open to the present. The struggle just to
accept my experience and, in the bigger picture, to accept the human experience
of suffering, was challenging. By the time I left I was just beginning
to enjoy some deep quiet and full slow breathing. I have been wondering
how it would have been to continue the EI from that point. I want to do
the full 6 days next time - a glutton for punishment? Since the EI I have
enjoyed the feeling of clarity and more openness, especially in my relationship
with Jerry. However, I am already noticing the powerful magnetism of old
patterns of being. I am bringing gentleness and forgiveness to all of this
as much as I can.
Katharyn Morgan
What Am I
I worked on ìWhat am I,î but did not ìbreak through.î But
I became even more aware of the energy involved with consciousness. When
I got up morning of the second day, I could feel my energy level climb
as I walked to where we were doing dyads. Along with this, my state of
consciousness became increasingly altered, so that all the questions
felt very holistic, and issuing from a deep place in
myself and others, even when my partners were still on the launch pad.
When I was part of a circle of four, I immediately felt the horizontal
circle of energy that circulated among us. When it was my turn to speak,
I tried using my question, What Am I, but could not find my I .........
it seemed to have dissolved in the mutual circulation! Itís now seven days
since I left the intensive, and my energy level is still very elevated.
Iíve done some short dyads with Susan and contemplated my question by myself,
which has helped. So it feels like I climbed fairly close to the mountain
top, and if I had stayed all six days, I well may have hit the summit.
But I know What I Am from previous IE's, and of course that doesn't change.
Also, loved Josephís poetry.
Love,
Norm Don
No Enlightenment and No
One to Get Enlightened
I've done many buddhist meditation retreats over the last
30 years, but this was my fist EI. My wife introduced me to the concept,
and I came to the retreat with curiosity and a bit of smuggness.
The retreat was great, I developed significant concentration (joriki),
and became truly aware of how deep my buddhist roots saturate who I am.
There is no enlightenment and no one to get enlightened.
I saw my daily life of canceling a dentist appointment,
paying bills , going to work as my true expression of compassion to all
beings. My life since returning from the retreat has been a little more
joyful, a little happier.
I've bought a book of Hafiz to nudge me awake often.
love to everyone
Jerry Barclay
Relaxing Into The Contemplation
My time at the Questhaven EI was a tremendous release.
I finally learned how to relax into the contemplation and enjoy the ride,
even when the phenomena took hold. I found my laughter again and
more importantly, I understood not to take all this spiritual stuff too
seriously! I feel blessed to have spent the weekend with such a wonderful
group of spirits.
Doug Crane
More of Me Present Now
as a result of being at questhaven with you, i am conscious
of the following:
i am more open to devotion from and for another, which
has effected a greater openness in me to others.
i am more detached from identifying with my possessions;
this is making it easier to clear out and move on the stuff and clutter
in my life that is ready to go.
i am more conscious of being the Goddess Herself.
i am more conscious of being the enlightenment master, and more enabled
to show up as that.
i have greater ability to be present in the Now.
more of me is more available to others. i am more
freely expressive of my love for others.
the brahma grunti loosened, became palpably more unknotted,
around my sexuality and its connections to power. i am aware of having
more freedom from my father's negative influence on my psyche.
all of my relationships feel cleaner, clearer and i have
a greater acceptance of things being as they are between me and others.
i am aware of a greater ease in me with regards to intimacy,
and a greater willingness to take risks in opening to intimacy with others.
Amrita
|
by Charles
Berner (creator of the Enlightenment Intensive)
by Joseph Rubano